Thoughts on German Instructions – The Ultimate RPG
Spending time abroad is eye-opening to say the least. I find myself in new situations and confronted by new experiences every week. There are days where the challenge is figuring out a new public transportation system (to validate or not to validate); and there are times where the challenge is sorting out the subtleties employed by locals in their face, voices, and mannerisms (sounds angry does not equal angry).
However, a reoccurring theme is the instructions I am given at my various trade jobs. I notice the instructions fluctuate to the extremes in thoroughness. There are times where the steps are laid out in such a condescendingly detailed thoroughness that I am left asking myself, “how else would one apply stickers to a lid?” But more often it is quite the opposite. The following occurred last week and reminded me of a Quora answer I read regarding the most annoying thing about American tourists: they ask too many questions. So, I worked with what I had available.
Ye find yerself in yon butcher shop. Ye see two metal tables and a large metal sink. Ye also see a BANDSAW used for cutting through bone and a large cooking pot in the corner. A rack of KNIFES hang above the sink. A large FRIDGE stands in the corner. The obvious exits are WEST, NORTH, and EAST.
Butcher enters room.
>Use CLOAK OF HELPFULNESS
Ye ask if there is anything you can do to help. Butcher responds to get two red crates and turns to leave.
>Ask for additional instructions
Warning: local speechcraft is low. You say, “red?”
Butcher grunts an affirmative and leaves the room.
>Use BELT OF REMEMBRANCE
Ye recall seeing red crates in one room WEST and one room SOUTH.
>Pick up 2 RED CRATES
Ye added 2 RED CRATES to yer inventory.
>Wait
Ye hath waited.
>Wait
Ye hath waited.
>Put MEAT in RED CRATES
Ye cannot put MEAT in RED CRATES.
>Put KNIVES in RED CRATES
Ye cannot put KNIVES in RED CRATES
>Use BANDSAW to sharpen RED CRATES into shanks
Warning: guile is too low; the noise would arouse too much suspicion. Ye cannot make shanks.
>Use BELT OF REMEMBRANCE
Ye recall hearing rumors of jars to the NORTH.
>Go NORTH
Door is shut.
>Open door
The obvious exits are WEST, NORTH, and EAST.
>Open NORTH door
Door is locked.
>Use LOCKPICK
Ye cannot use lockpick, keyhole is blocked by key.
>Unlock door
The obvious exits are WEST, NORTH, and EAST.
>Unlock NORTH door
The door lock tumbler pulls deadbolt back into the door.
>Open NORTH door
The door squeaks open.
>Go NORTH
Ye have exited the building and are in yon parking lot. A large KETTLE stands in your way, emptied of water but still full of jars of MEAT.
>Put MEAT in RED CRATES
Ye added 2 RED CRATES of MEAT to yer inventory.
>Go SOUTH
Ye enter back into the building. Upon the noise of the door shutting, the butcher reenters and uses headshake of DISAPPOINTMENT. Yon MEAT obviously must be put in the large FRIDGE.
Ye lose 2 points of EGO.
>Put MEAT in FRIDGE
Ye hath placed 2 RED CRATES of MEAT in FRIDGE.
>Use humor to save face
Warning: local speechcraft is too low.
>Search for yon FLASK.
Your score was: -2.
Play again tomorrow? [Y/N]
